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Recipe for a Perfect Tarot Deck
1. Take any old New Age tarot deck.
2. Get rid of all the cheesy woo-woo artwork.
3. Infuse with the nostalgic spirit of Far from Heaven and Leave it to Beaver.
4. Add 78 full-colour images of Duncan Hines chocolate cake (The Devil), Jell-O moulds (The Tower), station wagons (The Chariot), Mrs. Butterworth (The Empress), Brillo Pads (Strength), and other 1950s iconography.
5. Add generous helpings of mops and brooms (wands), martini glasses (cups), silverware (swords), and china plates (pentacles).
6. Seal in attractive retro packaging. Serve with 96-page book that describes the meanings of every card in the deck - along with instructions for assembling the cards in five different layouts: the Virgin Spread, the Neapolitan Spread, the Clothesline Spread, the Dinette Spread, and the Martini Spread.